UK Horse Racing Tips

A pony went to the doctor complaining about having a sore throat. The doctor said: “It’s OK, you’re just a little horse.”

A racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet. “Will I be able to race this horse again?,” he asks
The vet replies: “Of course you will, and you’ll probably win!”

Why should you never be rude to a jump jockey? In case he takes offence.

A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. “Excuse me, good sir,” the horse says, “are you hiring?”

The manager looks the horse up and down and says, “Sorry, pal. Why don’t you try the circus?”

The horse nickers. “Why would the circus need a bartender?”

Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him?

The doctor described his condition as stable.

A young jockey and his stable lass girlfriend make the decision to get married. Everything is planned and the couple intend to honeymoon in Italy for a week. The marriage goes without a hitch and the couple set off on their honeymoon. While checking in the lady behind the desk asks ‘We have two suites available for you, would you like the bridal?’ ‘No thanks says the jockey I’ll just hold her ears till she gets the hang of it!’ –

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says “hey”. The horse says “sure, thanks

The 2018 Grand National was the first renewal of the world famous steeplechase run on heavy ground since 2001, when Red Marauder beat three other finishers, two of whom had been remounted. On this occasion, twelve of the 38 starters completed the course, but those that didn’t included the previous year’s fourth Blaklion, who was brought down at the first, and the well-backed favourite, Total Recall, who lost all chance with a couple of bad blunders on the first circuit and was eventually pulled up before the second last.

In a finish dominated by Irish challengers, perennial Irish champion trainer Willie Mullins went very close to winning with his apparent second string, Pleasant Company, but ultimately it was Tiger Roll, trained by Gordon Elliott, who just held on to win in a dramatic photo finish. The race had looked all over when Tiger Roll swept into a six-length lead at the Elbow, but the diminutive eight-year-old tired close home and, at the line, was all out to hold his rallying rival by a rapidly diminishing head. Irish-trained horses filled the first four places, with Bless The Wings, also trained by Gordon Elliott, 11 lengths away in third and Anibale Fly, trained by Tony Martin, a neck further back in fourth.

Fresh from victory in the Cross Country Chase at the Cheltenham Festival, Tiger Roll was sent off 10/1 joint-second favourite for the National. His victory was a second in three years for owner Michael O’Leary after Rule The World in 2016 and a second for trainer Gordon Elliot after Silver Birch in 2007. Jockey Davy Russell, though, was riding his first Grand National winner after 13 unsuccessful attempts; his previous best finish had been third place on Saint Are, trained by Tom George, in 2017. Russell, the oldest jockey in the race at 38, said afterwards, “I was thinking of all the times my dad used to cut the grass and…I’d make National fences to jump over on my feet in the garden. I won the National a thousand times in the back garden, but never like that!”

It’s high time that I posted something a little bit jokey and different and I’m sure you’ll agree that this marble racing video ticks both boxes!

It’s been a dizzying few months of top quality horse racing of late, as is always the case at this time of year. In mid March we had the ever exciting Cheltenham Festival. This year we saw the performance of female jockeys go to another level, with Rachael Blackmore,  Bryony Frost and Lizzie Kelly heralding in a golden era for women in the sport (with two grade one wins between them during the 2019 Cheltenham Festival!). The event saw some big odds winners too, so was definitely one for the speculative bettor.

Then of course we had the Grand National last weekend (6th April). This prestigious race watched around the world by hundreds of millions, (and this year drawing almost ten million viewers to ITV alone) saw Gordon Elliot’s Tiger Roll rack up back to back wins in the Grand National – the first horse to do so since Red Rum in 1974. It was quite something to see Davy Russell and co soaking in an win they themselves couldn’t seem to quite comprehend. Bookmakers are set to pay out an estimated £200 – £250 million as result of the victory, with Tiger Roll being one of the shortest priced winners for decades at 4-1.

In other sports news, gambling regulators have clamped down on a roulette-like virtual cycling games available in some betting shops, which was seen as a way of working around fixed odd betting terminal rules. The game offered by one betting shop chain, involved a cyclist racing around a velodrome, who then stops on one of 36 segmented areas (much like a roulette wheel). Customer could bet up to £500, whereas maximum bets on  FOBT games was recently reduced to £2. Many casual punters are unhappy with such a dramatic restriction down to £2, and instead are switching to more open online betting environments, where websites welcome customers with generous bonuses and offers, as you see at the likes of Thumbsupbonus. High street betting shorts are increasingly outmoded in comparison, when numerous games such as bingo, poker and sports betting are only a mouse click away!

A final bit of racing news from Late February led me to wondering if bookmakers should start offering betting odds on who is going to win the latest racecourse brawl! A mass brawl, which was captured on film, broke out at Haydock Park between some 50 members of the public at the Saturday afternoon race meeting. Similar incidents happened at Ascot, Goodwood and Hexham in 2018. Haydock have declared a “zero tolerance position” in response tp the incident, though personally I’d say the chance of a repeat is around even money!  Place your bets now please!